The Official Pasty Supplier of London 2012

2^nd August

Mega-fun with a mega-phone

I didn’t sleep at all last night. Our campsite is the focus of much wonderment from the locals. Everyone I’ve spoken to on the tube who’s inquired as to my resting point has expressed their confusion at why there’s a load of tents next to a main road.

I’m fairly sure they now honk their horns as loud as they can whenever they drive past.

There’s also a David Brent-style mentalist on the site who seems to have taken me under his wing. Yesterday he askedme what the forecast was, and, non-committal as ever, I replied ‘showers, I think’. He’s now blaming me for his sunburn. He also appears to have adopted the Candyman role, appearing if you think about him too long. It often seems to be just as I’m getting ready for the shower. This is definitely heading for a court case if I don’t move on, so I shall.

Spending roughly 90% of my waking hours in my uniform is having its issues. The official partners being one of these.  Ginsters became the Official Pasty Supplier of London 2012 for all of about 30 seconds as I wolfed one down at a petrol station. The meals we get on shift are Michelin-star esque. As in, they’re about half as big as you’d like them. The taste is distinctly average.

I got this for being hilarious

Today’s shift was brilliant. I’ve been eyeing up the megaphone job since I’ve got here, and today, my dream came true.

‘When I say London, you say Olympics’.

‘ALLEZ LES BLEUS!’

‘GIZZA CHEER IF YOU’RE FROM SWITZERLAND!’ *silence* ‘BOOOOOOOO!’

I’m making the Games, I am.

There is a lot of waiting around doing nothing on our shifts, admittedly. This evening I spent the hours of 10-11pm manning an empty entrance with another volunteer. This would normally annoy me, like many of the things that have passed me by so far, but getting to chat to some really lovely, like-minded folk from all walks of life makes even the most mundane task bearable. People probably even think I’m cheerful 24/7.

Favourite lines from spectators

1)      ‘Did you say tickets for sale?’ ‘No, I said welcome to ExCeL’.

2)      A dirty looking man shuffled up to me and said he’d like to swap shirts with me.

‘I’ve done this at the last two Olympics, swapped shirts with volunteers. I did it at Beijing, and in the other one in 2004’.

‘I kind of need this shirt.’

‘I can meet you tomorrow if you want.’

‘To swap shirts?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Sorry, sounds a bit weird. Maybe some other time’.

3)      ‘Are you on happy pills or something? It’s great!’